Tara and Brian | Gettin' Hitched

Photos

tbsullivan909 — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:17:21 +0000

Thanks to Adam for some stellar photos. If you have digital photos please let us know so we can share them on our blog. Thanks!

Wedding Memories (from the groom)

tbsullivan909 — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 14:04:18 +0000

Its funny how the happiest day in your can be such a blur. I remember waking up at 6:30 yesterday morning to begin a flurry of activity only to crash in exhaustion just after midnight. The day was filled with a strange cocktail of love, urgency, excitement, nervousness and joy. Our pastor stresses that its important to remember that at the center of the entire wedding day is The Marriage, a sacred ceremony that joins two people and their families together in the presence of God. Of all the places I was yesterday, the church was the one place I felt centered. I wasn’t nervous about the ceremony. Marrying Tara is what I wanted to do.

Preparation

Tara insisted on the tradition (superstition?) of not allowing the groom to see the bride before the ceremony. This meant I was alone the night before the wedding. I used the opportunity to pour myself a glass of whiskey and smoke a cigar – I had one for the best man, Kevin, and our usher, Adam but both had to call it an early night. I used the hour long smoke in the middle of the night to reflect on my relationship with Tara so far. In our almost four short years together, we’ve had both struggles and successes. While its nice to relive the happy memories, the sad ones – the ones that could have ended our relationship – were the events that made us stronger and taught us to love each other with acceptance and forgiveness.

The next moring wasn’t so deep and introspective. I woke up before the 6:45 alarm. Oh my God, I’m getting married! Then I scrambled to do the most important ritual a man can do before a big event: shit, shower and shave. Oh crap! Is everything I need for the ceremony and reception ready to go. Once I gathered everything, it was a mad dash up and down stairs loading my car with carved and uncarved pumpkins, various gourds, some leaves that turned pretty colors, lost of candles, garlands….everything needed to transform a local bar with New England character (aka old, worn, and well used) into a respectable reception site. Yeah great idea to use a bar that we can’t decorate the night before because they have live music seven nights a week! I was fortunate that Kevin and his family – wife Diane and da:ughter Gabrielle, cousins Kathy and Lynda, Aunt Helen, and local florist and a web design client of Tara, Kim Cady of Ambrosia Gardens all volunteered to help decorate.

I was going crazy. Everyone was looking to me for instructions and the pressure to pull this off was immense. (See previous blog posts from Tara to get an idea of how much time and effort she spent designing how to decorate the Press Room.) There were missing tablecloths, a broken candle holder, fire code issues and a shortage of seats. FUCK! Phone calls to and from Victoria about issues that she gently communicated to Tara. More phone calls from Scott Yates our photographer trying to coordinate where to meet Kevin and I before the wedding for our transformation from sweaty and scrubby guys into sharp dressed men. I have no fucking clue where I’m going to be in TEN MINUTES never mind an hour…all I want is to have Tara feel proud of the time she spent preparing for this.

By 9:30 everything was coming together so I left the venue to retrieve some overlooked decorations and to have a much needed beer before picking up Adam. Don’t judge me. I had breakfast…oh wait nothing to eat and barely a few sips of coffee. Well maybe you can judge me…no you can’t! Its my wedding I’ll do what I want! By the time I returned to the Press Room, everything looked beautiful! All the issues were remedied and the upstairs looked worthy of a proper reception.

Onward, to the Church! Oh wait I’m not even dressed yet

An Odd Conundrum

tbsullivan909 — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 06:57:03 +0000

So I was chatting with my pal Chrissie Penney about the wedding. We’re having the wedding itself in the gorgeous old North Church in Market Square in Portsmouth and then we’re walking (yes, walking!) down to the Press Room to have the reception. The Press Room is this great old building that’s been around forever as a newspaper printing building and was converted to a restaurant. We’re having our reception upstairs.

Anyway, I was chatting with Chrissie and said, “Wouldn’t it be fun if the Leftist Marching Band met us outside the church and played “When the Saints Go Marching In” as we went down the street?” And she looked at me a second, then said, “I know them. Want me to ask??” Which blew me away, right, because this crazy little nothing idea might actually happen!!! I don’t think she ever did ask, but I quickly visited their website (that would be The Leftist Marching Band .org) and sent a “play a gig” request.

But something has recently come to my attention. Apparently (and this is really odd) the Portsmouth Maritime Folk Festival will be going on at the same time. This group of people will be singing old timey sea shanties in Market Square AND at the Press Room while our wedding reception is happening!! So the weirdest part will be that there is actually a possible conflict with the Leftist Marching Band playing, while there are salty old sea shanty singers singing at the same time.

So that’s my problem. How many other brides do YOU know have to deal with this crap?!? Yeah, I thought so.

By the way, here’s the Sea Shanty people’s poster.

This is what's going to be conflicting with my wedding

Wedding Clothes

tbsullivan909 — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:58:25 +0000

Last week my one and only bridesmaid, Victoria, and I went down to Boston to try on a bridesmaid dress! Of course there are plenty of bridal shops near where we live and normally I would have been all over that. I mean, we try to eat local and support our local businesses, but sheesh — the selection of bridesmaid dresses that were available around here were just woeful. Victoria and I are both picky about that sort of thing, and shiny orange dresses were just not going to do it for us. For your viewing pleasure, here is a photo of the types of appallingly satiny dresses we were finding.

What color are these really?

Ok so granted they’re not as horrible as the old 80′s standby of shiny combined with puffy sleeves. BUT – they could easily double as a prom dress. Seriously – what self-respecting bridesmaid is ever going to wear these dresses again for anything other than a prom? No one’s going to wear them to church I’m thinking. Personally I wouldn’t know what to do with the thing after the wedding if I were wearing it. Worse, they cost an arm and a leg to buy. Who wants to pay $250+ for a prom dress? So rather than saddle my poor bridesmaid with something she’ll never ever wear again that’s way out of our price range, we went down to the J.Crew in Boston.

Now there are a few issues with purchasing bridal wear through J.Crew. First, they don’t carry it in all the stores and in fact they make it really difficult to try anything on that you’re unsure about unless you happen to live near one of their really largest stores. Second, the bridal gowns themselves manage to be both innovative and unimaginative at the same time with lots of gathered waists (can you say “make my hips look huge”?) and the little design elements they like to include aren’t very flattering. On the plus side, the bridesmaids dresses are fantastic. They’re simple, chic, flattering, and sophisticated, and that’s exactly what we wanted.

Here is what we decided on. The interesting thing about this dress is that it is NOT offered in orange. No, J.Crew is calling it “Tawny brown”. To me, it doesn’t look brown in the slightest. It doesn’t really matter, it’s perfect for the elegant feel we wanted and, better yet, Victoria will be comfortable wearing this again. Once she tried this on, we didn’t need to see any more! Best of all it only cost $160, and we’re splitting the cost so neither of us are paying all of it. Now we just need to find her some shoes.

The winner! Our chosen bridesmaids dress.

Our Original Unusual Invites

tbsullivan909 — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:28:56 +0000

Many people don’t think about invitations much. If they do, it has more to do with “which invitation do we like the best?” and little to do with quality and/or individuality. Most people look around a little bit and then pick something, usually with a bunch of extras (reply cards, programs, menu cards, envelopes). In retrospect I wish I could have done that. But no, that would have been way too easy for us! We could have easily picked one of the many gorgeous pre-existing invitations out there and been done with it. We really love being unique and original, and we couldn’t do it the easy way.

Instead we chose to do things the hard way! We hired the fabulously talented Dan Blakeslee to design a specialized invitation for us for the same cost that the whole group of cards would have cost. But when Dan gave us our piece of artwork, it was an unusual size — 6 inches by 10 inches — and we couldn’t bear the thought of creasing them to mail them. So what do we do? Dan suggested a great little place called www.paperworks.com to get a lovely metallic paper called “Stardream”, which comes in so many different colors it was easy to find our colors. I chose a really pretty copper color, then all I had to do was go to a copy shop and get it photocopied on to our paper! I put them all in stiff photo envelopes and mailed them out.

Yes it was more work and more difficult, yes, it was more expensive. BUT – on the plus side we now have an original piece of artwork that is just for us! We love everything about his artwork and the style, and we plan to frame it in a large mat and use the mat as an alternative to a traditional guest book. So if you’re interested, take a look! Personally, I wouldn’t do it any other way — this is like a ring; it’s something special that’s just for us and will last longer than just one day.

Our Wedding Invitation

Invites Are in the Mail!

tbsullivan909 — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:28:08 +0000

After 10+ hours of Tara hand addressing each envelope with her calligraphy skills, the invites designed and illustrated by Dan Blakeslee are in the mail. The reply cards and Portsmouth info brochure for out of town guests were designed by Tara using elements of Dan’s illustration. I have to say this package is pretty kick ass and I’ve always admired Tara’s artistic talents. I am itching to post pictures of the invitations and reply card online, but, I want our guests to be the first to see them.

Dan Blakeslee and our best man

tbsullivan909 — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:40:21 +0000

Recently our old pal Kevin Baringer, who will be our best man, introduced himself to the artist/musician who designed our wedding invitations. Kevin, who is quite a cuddly, huggable guy, had been quite anxious to meet the famous Dan Blakeslee whose work is so ubiquitous throughout the Portsmouth area. Dan often draws amazing original works and makes copies of them just to advertise his own music shows throughout the seacoast and elsewhere in New England. Luckily they were both in the same area recently in Newport, Rhode Island at the Newport Folk Festival! Dan hosted an open mike there and spent some time busking (for those who don’t know, “busking” is the official term for someone playing music on the street as you walk by).

Not knowing what Dan looked like, Kevin had been texting him (and Dan had been texting back) all during the festival but had not had the chance to meet. At long last, Kevin’s lovely wife Diane caught sight of Dan and pointed him out to Kev… who immediately pushed through the crowds of people and ran up and gave Dan a BIG HUG…. and then introduced himself!! Now THAT’s “bromance” for you! Let’s just hope Brian, who is happily used to regular Kev-hugs, doesn’t get jealous. Ha ha!

Now just picture the hug – and the undoubtedly surprised look on Dan’s face when some guy he hasn’t actually met yet comes up and hugs him in Rhode Island. Love the matching beards, guys. I’m sure they’re great friends now!

The faboolus Dan Blakeslee

The cuddly Kev and Di

Light seeking light…for the budget challenged bride

tbsullivan909 — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 05:06:46 +0000

The full quote is actually “Light, seeking light, doth light of light beguile; So ere you find where light in darkness lies, Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.” It’s a warning against spending too much of your life in academic pursuits. This, however, has little to do with the fact that the reception area we have reserved is, for all intents and purposes, a bar. A dark bar at that. It needs decorating help and definitely needs help with romantic lighting. After all, it’s a BAR. Now why, you might ask, would you bother having a wedding reception at a bar?

Well there are a few answers to that question, number one being that we are poor. Sorry – I should say “financially challenged” at the moment – and cannot afford the $500 minimum room rental plus $40 per plate that 99.9% of reception venues currently demand. With our modest guest list of 65 people this totals out to be $3100!! Just for the reception! And this total doesn’t include the various and sundry taxes, fees, etc (like cake cutting fee, bartender fee, staying too late fee, nice view fee, wearing shoes fee…I could go on…). Seriously, is the wedding circuit so fabulous at the moment that these places don’t feel the economic pressure to lower their rates or in any way make things more affordable? Are fathers of brides really that willing to plunk down their money for massive amounts of food choices so that people can choose between cheapo chicken, pork, and prime rib? Really? These were the questions flowing through my anxious brain as I tracked down a good place to have our wedding reception. Now add to this the fact that a) Brian was pushing for it and b) it was the bar in which we met (I know awwwww). And then add that they’re willing to rent us the room and provide a modest but decent buffet, with bartender and no cake cutting fee, for $1200.

With that kind of consideration I was willing to forgo the fabulous view of the pond/lake/golf course/cow patty that most places have in honor of gussying up our good ol’ reliable Press Room bar. This is a place that Brian and I frequent…well… frequently. They have live music upstairs every Friday and Saturday night (every night downstairs), and we love that, but it presented a minor obstacle when it came to our Saturday morning wedding. In other words, no getting in there Friday night and decorating, no sir! Everything will have to be decorated the day of – which brings us via a very roundabout way to the point: I can’t be there to gussy it up. I know, you’re shocked that I’m even remotely superstitious. Even I can’t explain why, but I refuse to have Brian see me before the ceremony on the day of the wedding. I KNOW lightning won’t come down and strike me if he did see me, but I just don’t want it to happen ok? But I am also a visual design perfectionist – I’m a graphic designer after all – and I know it will bug me if the reception isn’t decorated “just so”. Despite his many virtues, Brian is, unfortunately, not a very visually imaginative guy, and can’t really imagine the way I want it decorated despite my blue-in-the-face attempts to explain what I want, with a diagram to scale.

The Press Room

So I tried to get around this issue by hiring a company to do the decorating for us. Good idea right? I contacted a place near here that rents tents and lighting and they were kind enough to review the good ol’ Press Room and give us a quote. In my excitement to have someone else who is also visually-oriented to do the hard work for me, I wrote out a check and happily went on my way. It wasn’t until later that I realized… I just wrote a check for $650!!! They quoted me 14 of those round paper lanterns in various colors of plum and orange, and broken down this works out to about $35 PER LANTERN, plus travel fees and setup fees. (Argh fees!!!!) A quick google of round paper lanterns and I discovered to my dismay that I could purchase twice that many lanterns PLUS the battery-operated LED lights to go in them for roughly half that cost! Enter Partylights.com (see below)

Round Paper Lanterns

Folks, the lanterns cost $5.50 each at PartyLights.com, and you can find them anywhere on any site for roughly that same price. $35 per lantern to rent?? Was I on crack??? Even I was shocked at my own ridiculous lack of research. We immediately put a stop-pay on the check (with many apologies to the poor girl who did the quote) and I ordered everything she quoted plus the LEDs to hang them for $225, which included shipping. Heck, I could have added flamingo string lights and martini glass string lights too and it would still have cost less than renting.

Problem is – now I’m faced with the same darn issue I had before all this mess. Who’s gonna decorate? Well Brian of course, but here’s the challenge: We have to get in there this Saturday (yes, this Saturday August 8 which happens to be my birthday yay me) and do a “dry run” of the lighting. Brian has told me he wants not only my original offer of a diagram but also the lanterns will need to be numbered on the inside of the paper and must correctly correspond to the numbers on the diagram. What am I, a blasted architect? Well, yes I’ll have to be if I want my little visual heart to be satisfied. So I’ll do it and upload the diagram for your viewing pleasure after we’ve got it all figured out!! Ahh weddings.

Need some help!

tbsullivan909 — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:40:48 +0000

We commissioned NH Seacoast artist and musician Dan Blakeslee to illustrate and design our wedding invitations and we are looking for a good print shop in the Portsmouth area, possibly with a letterpress, to produce high quality reproductions of his work. The invitation is designed like a concert poster with Dan’s unique style. We are hope a letterpress reproduction is within our budget. If not, we still want something of good quality. Please post suggestions in the comments. If you are a print shop feel free to shamelessly plug your shop here. Thanks.

Once the invitations go out to our guests we will post his work on the blog!

Hipsters Weigh In on Wedding Music

tbsullivan909 — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:07:18 +0000

I love reading the AV Club (the music, film, book & pop culture site connected to The Onion). Today the staff posted suggestions on weddings. http://www.avclub.com/articles/wedding-ceremonies,30504/